


Road Trip in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

by Chronos_X



Series: Headcanons (2016-) [7]
Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Parody - Fandom, Star Wars What Ifs
Genre: Anakin is trippin' balls, Bitter Leia is bitter, Darth Vader Lives, Darth Vader Redemption, Darth Vader is an embarrassing dad, Funny, Luke Skywalker is so done with this crap, Luke picks up those power converters, Parent Darth Vader, Parody, Saving Vader wasn't such a good idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:53:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22852801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chronos_X/pseuds/Chronos_X
Summary: Also available at https://www.deviantart.com/chronos-x/art/Road-Trip-in-a-Galaxy-Far-Far-Away-661288862.Dragon Ball Super: Twilight of Gods I - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1466320
Relationships: Leia Organa & Darth Vader, Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa/Luke Skywalker, Luke Skywalker & Darth Vader
Series: Headcanons (2016-) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1635487
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	Road Trip in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

Road Trip in a Galaxy Far, Far Away, by Chronos-X

Feb 3, 2017, 11:00:28 AM  
Literature / Fan Fiction / Humor

Vader ( _stoned out of his mind,_ _panicky_ ): Not Tatooine! Anywhere but that! It has _sand_!  
  
Leia ( _passive-aggressive_ ): You're right, Dad. Let's go to Alderaan instead. ( _Extra spiteful_ ). Oh, wait...  
  
Luke ( _stares sourly at Leia_ ): Now Dad, remember what your psychiatrist said. The only way to conquer your fear is to confront it.  
  
Vader ( _insufferably_ _childish_ ): But it has Hutts, Tuskens, and Jawas!  
  
Luke: We're just swinging by Mos Eisley to pick up some power converters. We're far more likely to bump into the Sarlacc's mother-in-law than any of those people.  
  
Vader ( _à la Yoda_ ): Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate...  
  
Leia ( _surly_ ): You _had_ to let him wander off...  
  
Luke ( _defensive_ ): How was I supposed to know that midichlorian medicine of his was laced with deathsticks!? If you'd just gone with him like I asked, but _no_ , you _had_ to have those new hairbun extensions!  
  
Leia: It was Corellian electrum, Luke! How could I pass that up?

Luke: Same way I had to pass up those antivirus software upgrades for my mechanical hand.  
  
Leia ( _pissed-off_ ): Oh, hear we go again! Luke Skywalker lost his hand fighting Darth Asshat here, so everyone else has to act _exactly_ like he did.  
  
Vader: To fear anger leads, to hate...  
  
Leia ( _enraged_ ): Force damn it, will you just shut the hell up!? You're going to the stinking sand planet and that's final!  
  
Luke: Leia...  
  
Vader ( _petulant, à la Hayden Christensen_ ): But it's rough, coarse, and irritating, and it gets everywhere!  
  
Leia ( _grumbles_ ): Same as Alderaan...  
  
Luke ( _furious_ ): Leia! Not. Helping. ( _Leia goes off to sulk somewhere else. Luke pulls himself together_ ). It's gonna be ok, Dad. You need to face up to what you've done, and this is the only way to do it.  
  
Vader ( _disconsolate_ ): Even if I told you that your grandmother...  
  
Luke ( _drone-like, matter-of-factly_ ): ...was kidnapped and murdered by Tuskens, leading you to massacre a whole tribe of them, not just the men, but the women, and the children too. You hate them.  
  
Vader ( _emo-like_ ): I wish I was never immaculately conceived! I'm going to my room! ( _Leaves, slams door behind him_ ).  
  
Luke: I gotta save him, I said. There's good in him, I said...


End file.
